Why did I choose Mental Illness?

When people think of mental illness, what usually comes to their mind is some nut frothing at the mouth and struggling to get free out of a strait jacket. Or maybe you just think of some older person. Y'know, the ones who can't remember their childrens names or where they are, or how to go to the bathroom themselves. And if those two come to mind, then it's almost a guaranteed they immediately thought of a mentally challenged human being.

But the fact is, that's not what it is, or at least not what I'm trying to run about. To help you visualize who a person with mental illness really looks like, think of your neighbor. Think of your parents. Think of your friends at school. Think of people you pass on the street.

Mental Illness isn't as dramatic as one may think, but it's even more disruptive and restraining on that persons life then one could imagine. Imagine if you couldn't go outside without feeling extreme anxiety for no reason. Imagine of you were just doodling a small little stick figure, and suddenly you became so incredibly angry, you immediately rip up and tear the drawing you just made, along with the homework page that you had been drawing on. And all for no real reason at all, or a reason you couldn't understand... What if every time you entered and left your home, you'd have to turn the light switch on, off, on, off, on, off, on, in that exact pattern, and with the exact and perfect flick of your finger each and every time, before you could move on with anything else in your life.

Mental Illness is about average people, with average lives, who couldn't help themselves when they think or react or do something that was the opposite of progressive.

Mental Illness is a harsh, and slightly upsetting topic.
But it's real. And it should be known.

1/10-Social Networking

I'm not really sure how much it has impacted my life, but I'm very sure it has, in a big way.

For one, I'd probably spend most of the time I used to go on to facebook, to do something, I dunno, more productive, and positive then knowing my friend set her status to "OMG! Sleepover at Betrice's house! LOLOLOLOL" ...Or something like that. I don't actually use much 'chat speak' so I don't know how it actually would be spelled on the computer. The point is, I probably would be doing something a little more important. Less glued to the computer. Less interested in my friends life, and more in my own.

You have to admit that social networking has really helped in some ways, while they're not really super important, they still help. Like getting in touch with family. I have family in Viginia, North Carolina, Washington, Texas, New Jersey and more. Not that Twitter and Facebook is around, it's easier to talk to them, rather then calling every single one of them almost every day. If it werent for Facebook, I'd never know when my cousin Marlayna gave birth to her first child lat alone that she was pregnate in the first place! The only time I saw her is when she visited up here when it was our grandmothers birthday, and she was around seven to eight months pregnate then. Thank god I knew. It've probably ended up like:

Marlayna: Hey Morgan! Long time no see!
Morgan: Hiya! Woah, you've put on some pounds!

TERRIBLE.
JUST TERRIBLE.

It also helps with planning things. For example, every year around Christmas, my 'sister' Maria (She's dating my eldest brother) hosts a Cookie party, where every one who's invited has to make a dozen cookies for each persone who's showing up. For instance, it there are 12 women going to show up total, you make either 11 or 12 dozen, depending if you wanted a batch for yourself. Facebook helps her invite everyone, tell everyone how many batches to make, and what kind of cookies are being baked. Because no one wants two batches of the same cookie, we all want to make different ones. And their always delicious.

Although we COULD live without it, it dose make things easier.

1/4- 2011?

I'm not really sure what will happen in 2011, but I have a few hints to believe it's going to be a good year.

But I never really could know. First of all I now have an internship with a college professor and other college students. That means things like opportunity for high school and college after high school. Not only does that mean I have good stuff ahead of me, but it also tells me I'm on the right track, and doing the right things to obtain the opportunities.

Next year I'm going to college, which is going to be difficult, but also fresh and new. I'll have new doors open and brand new possibilities. I’m also set up to move out after this summer which, again, is all in all difficult, but more chances to go out on my own and start my own life.

I'm starting to really figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Not sure, but I have an idea, so I'm slowly getting there step by step. Its way better than not having a clue at least.

Also I'm pretty sure my next half schedule for high school is SUPER awesome.
I have late arrival, gym, Psychology/Sociology, then I go to my internship. I'm only in the actual school for about four hours, including lunch if I decide to eat there, instead of the normal seven everyone else spends. And that's if I don't want to leave school before my 3C lunch period.

Best schedule ever. I mean, I like gym, it's fun (except for the swimming unit-ugh) and I'm really into Psychology and Sociology. I enjoy Mr. Cayea too, and he's my teacher for the class. Not to mention I get to sleep in later. That's important to me.

1/4- 2010 Reflection

In 2010, I remember a lot of simple but fun things.

For one in the summer I had the best job ever working at Darien Lake doing caricatures. Getting payed to draw people funny? Yes, please! Not only was the job sweet, but I was payed commission on top. Basically, on a good work week, I'd get somewhere close to $300. Awesome pay! Also my co-workers were the best I could ever ask for. If the park was dead we'd preoccupy ourselves by balling up duct tape and doing far and complicated trick shots into the garbage can. That or just make fun of each other. And to top it all off, I met my boyfriend there. Thumbs up!

I went through my orange and obtained my purple belt in martial arts, although I learned that I can't kick higher then my navel. Need to practice that.

I turned into a full blown nerd and started playing D&D [Dungeons and Dragons] Yeah. I know. haha

What else? Well, I met a lot of new people! A bunch were friends and family of my boyfriend, but I've become good friends with all of them. I even call his mother and step father "Mama" and "Papa". Not only that, but they gave me an affectionate nickname, "Moe". They started calling me that on Christmas, and I'm already used to it, answering to it like it was my actual name or as if people called me that for years.

Basically the first half of 2010 was just same old same old, but ever since I got that job at Darien Lake, a lot of really cool things have been happening, even if it's only just meeting new people. I love it. This year looks even more promising, and I really hope it is. But I guess the only way I'll find out is wait till next year to reflect on this one.

12/13- Poems

Annabel Lee
by Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of Annabel Lee; And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea: But we loved with a love that was more than love-- I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me. And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsman came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulcher In this kingdom by the sea. The angels, not half so happy in heaven, Went envying her and me-- Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night, Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee. But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we-- Of many far wiser than we-- And neither the angels in heaven above, Nor the demons down under the sea, Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee: For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride, In her sepulcher there by the sea, In her tomb by the sounding sea. I've always loved Edgar Allen Poe. Always. I'm an extreme horror fan, and Edgar Allen Poe knows his horror. His works are defiantly up there with my favorites. so when I was asked to write about a poem, I would've never forgiven myself if I didn't do one of his poems.When it comes to Edgar Allen Poe, reading his writings are always a thrill.There exciting, horrific, original, twisted, and brilliantly written. It was actually really hard to decide which poem of his to write about. There all really good. I was really thinking about doing the Raven rather then the one I did. I really liked the Raven since I read it in a collection of Poe's Poems when I was younger. This poem's another one of Poe's most popular poems. Annabel Lee is a poem about the narrators dead wife, and how he loved her so much that he would lay next to her corpse every night since she died. The poem is defiantly a romantic one, as weird as that sounds, as well as a tragedy. It's simple in story, but complex in depth. The narrator lost his beloved wife that he loved and cared for deeply. He even claimed that the heavens only took her away was because they were just so jealous of his and her love for each other. I guess the reason why I like this poem so much is what it's exactly saying. A poor man who went crazy because he was so attached to someone. He was even willing to lay by hear decaying body because he loved her that much. Blaming it on the heavens, seeing as that was the only option he could actually beleive. He thought there was no other reason then that because why would anything want to kill someone as gorgeous as Annabell Lee.

12/13- What is Beauty?

What is beauty?

To me, it's different. The best way for me to describe what I feel is beauty by saying Beauty is Photography.

If you look at photography, each picture shows a moment in life, weather good or bad. It doesn't have to really be 'beautiful' physically in the picture, it just has to mean something more then just 'it looks nice'.
Beauty to me is a moment captured in time that inflicts strong emotion, and creates feelings. Happy ones, sad ones, angry ones, and everything else in between.

I had a previous blog about a picture from National Geographic that I believe means something. Now, when I went to there website I realized what a wonderful example that site was, especially the one collection of pictures about humans and cultures. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, visiting that site is a wonderful idea. It really is beautiful to see.

A lot of pictures might not even have anything really extraordinary about it. Like this picture:
Great. It's a whole bunch of pigeons. But that's not my point, is it. Look at it closely, how dose it make you feel? What does it make you think of? Why? It's only a bunch of birds, right? Or is it really? Does this picture mean more then it leads on?



This picture too. All the colors and movement. Fun, right? The excitement and brightness. This picture has to say something. It's all about catching the moment. Feeling the slit second. It's beautiful.


And this one. Just a tunnel right? But maybe this picture makes you feel curious. what's around the corner? Where are these people going? Or maybe this tunnel makes you feel a kind of loneliness. It's so empty. Are these people running away? Maybe just going away for any other reason. Are they leaving their family? Wife's? Children?

Photography presents beauty.

12/13- What have I learned?

What have you learned about yourself as a writer since you've been in this course?
I've noticed a lot change in me when it comes to thinking about different things. It's more so of the blogs then the articles that make me feel like that. Even when it's something all about why Nate Bailey is "The Boss", the blogs help me think more out of my own bubble.

Describe your writing process.
Biggest thing is the general idea. A subject always comes first. Then think about what you're trying to write. Like if my subject was birds, I want to think about that I'm trying to tell my readers about birds. Birds, they're the coolest animal. NOW, I want to think about how I'm going to tell the reader the bird is the coolest animal. Birds, they're the coolest animal, because they can fly. And TA-DA~

What do you like to write about?
I like writing stories more. I mean, I like Online Publishing, It's cool, but if I had to pick between Online Publishing and Creative Writing, I'd take Creative Writing. I like writing fiction, horror, fantasy. Something imaginative, that I created all by myself.

What do you not like to write about?
Myself. In the blogs when I'm asked 'What do you like?' or 'What's your favorite...?' or 'What do you like to do?' I'm not really SURE why, but I really think it's not enjoyable to write about. Maybe because I like creating stories rather then repeat something I go through daily.

What impact, if any has this class had on your writing?
Mostly, It's made me think in a completely different way of writing. As I said, I really like writing fiction and stories, and now that I'm writing articles and events that are actually happening, it's defiantly something new to me.